So this post has zero cute pics but I did want to
blog and get some advice. For those of you who
know us well, you already know how hard it is
to get Anna to sleep every night. She is so scared
to be alone in her room and so either Clayton or
I lay by her every night until she falls asleep.
I have tried everything to get her to be okay
and not scared... nightlights, stuffed animals,
flash lights you name it. Nothing works. Anyway,
last night after laying by her for 35 minutes and
three potty trips and 2 drinks later....I was
going crazy. I said "Anna it is time that you learn
to sleep on your own like a big girl." I told her
how Gracie and Chloe (her cousins) sleep in their
beds by themselves because they were "big girls".
Even though I could tell she was terrified, she
tried to act tough. I turned on her night light
and tucked her in. I went out in the living room
and didn't hear anything from her for about 5 minutes
and then she said "Mom... I don't want to be
a big girl anymore." When I didn't respond, she
kept screaming that over and over again. "I don't
want to be a big girl.. I don't want to be a big girl."
So I went back in her room and told her that it was
okay and we were just in the other room but it was
time for bed. This time when I left she reached out
for me and when I didn't turn around and hold her
she started crying hysterically. It was so hard and
sad. She cried for 20 minutes... like sobbing crying.
She kept screaming "Mommy, daddy, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry. I'm not happy!" It was so hard on us.
We finally went back there and told her we weren't
mad at her and she wasn't in trouble but that she
just needed to go to sleep on her own. She was still
sobbing and doing that panting thing in between
cries. After we were done talking she said said "Can
I come out with you guys?" We said no and she
started crying really bad again. Then right when
we were about to leave she goes "But mom, will
you lay by me. I will be quiet and you can turn
my night light off and I will go to sleep." But she said
it in this cute little mini voice that was so sad. It seriously
made Clayt and I BOTH choked up. I gave in. I know!
I shouldn't have... but I just couldn't tell her no. She
broke my heart. After Clayt left and I curled up next to her,
she turned around and said "Mama, (her new name for me)
I love you SO MUCH." She never throws the "so much" in.
Then she gave me this huge hug and said "Mom I was crying
and you were in the living room and you didn't come get me.
I was all alone. " Finally, after a few minutes she fell
fast asleep and I went back to my bed. At like 5:30 AM
she woke up and screamed out from her room "I'm sorry!!
Can I come in your room?" Clayt and I just felt so bad for her.
I'm sorry this is such a long post but I have NO IDEA
how to get Anna to fall asleep on her own. She was really
good until she was like 15 months and it all went down hill.
I need some ideas and input. It is making us crazy to lay
by her every night but at the same time... I don't want to
break her little heart. So if anyone has any good ideas
on how to get my little girl to sleep... I WOULD REALLY
REALLY APPRECIATE anything. PEACE OUT.
Monday, November 17, 2008
I NEED HELP!
Posted by . at 12:02 PM
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24 comments:
Oh so hard! Sorry to say I don't think it will get easier... Josie we had MAJOR issues.....We got her a night light..sounds like you did that. Another thing when we would say her prayers with her we would bless so she wouldn't have bad dreams and so she could sleep good. She was always scared to go to sleep because there were scary "movies" on in her room. I also found a picture of Jesus that had a cloth frame and she slept with that for a few weeks and that helped a lot. I also let her sleep with whatever the heck she wants.. books, toys. Sometimes she does sometimes she doesn't. Zack on the other hand... I have to just shut his door and say night night. At first he would cry forever it felt like now if he crys it's only for about a minute....it's just getting past the first few times of hour long crying that kill you. .... it will get better. They are all different and I think something different works for everyone. Hopefully you can try a few different ideas people post and something will work for Anna... Good luck I feel for you.
I have to say that was a sad post I feel so bad for her! I am sorry that I have no advice for you. This is kinda like a night light thing but when I was little I had one of those Night Brights where you can make your own pictures and it lights up. I don't know if they still make them but I slept with that one for a while. I wish I had some advice for you. I will ask my mom... I think Garett had trouble sleeping.
Anna!! She is so dang cute I can't get over it. But I do have to tell you, she is one of the smartest little girls I know and I know she knows what to say to you guys so you'll give in ("I wish I could go to Lagoon again") We just had to let Gracie cry. It was so hard, I would cry, get in the shower so I couldnt hear her cry, put earphones in.. everything. It sucks. BUT, after all the hard work, she knows at 7:30 it is prayers, a book and goodnight. We hardly hear a peep after that!! Stay strong. That is my biggest piece of advice! STAY STRONG!! Pass that on to Clayt because I know he is worse than you! love you!
Lex,
If they would come out and try to talk to us this sounds mean but we wouldn't talk to them...just pick them up without saying anything and put them back in their bed. I remember rick saying one time, You are supposed to be in bed so I can't talk to you right now because you are asleep....then we would just take them back to bed. Zack can't open his door so we just shut the door and that has fixed that but Josie could open her door so that's what we would do. It sucks! Really I don't think it took more than a week after we really did it. Once you cave you start all over again.
Oh.. lex.. this what I have to look forward too.. ahh man Im not going to be able to do it I hate seeing little ones sad when they didn't really doing something bad. But I read thru the advice people gave you and I definetly think saying your prayers and letting her ask heavenly father to keep her safe and then you and clayt praying for that also, might help her to become more calm at night and know that even though you and clay aren't in there with her that he is and he wont ever leave her. Good luck and keep me filled in cause man the things you get to look forward to :)
Oh man, that is so sad. I hate when they are like that. Emilie has been a pill latley and it has been so hard. I think she is scared of her room, but when I put her in the guest room she did just fine so maybe you could try that? I dont know I will give you a call later today
I wish I could help Lex, I hate it when I don't have good advice for people!! I've never had to deal with something like that, both my kids have been so easy at bedtime (lucky, I know) but what I've heard the most from other parents is--as hard as it sounds--letting them cry it out. I would have to do like Candice said and get in the shower or something so I couldn't hear. And I don't think Chad could do it either, he'd be worse than me, so good luck with Clayt! I like Kassi's idea, maybe if you helped Anna make a picture on a Nite Bright and then it was her night light she'd feel better? I don't know. Good luck!
So sad! Rylee has a hard time falling asleep in her room, and I think it's because she's used to playing in there all day. When I tell her it's time for bed, we pray in our room, and between our bed and treadmill there's a 3 foot gap, Rylee likes to bring in all her pillows and blankets and build her "sleeping fort" She is always out within 10 minutes after settling in there, and then we carry her to her bed and she sleeps the whole night through. We used to have a Dora Ready Bed (inflatable mattress/sleeping bag) for her next to our bed and she did really well in that too.
Oh Gosh, do I ever have the same problem! Thanks for posting your story so I could read all the comments and gets some good ideas! I feel for you though, I know how crazy I go while laying there FOREVER waiting for him to fall asleep and all he wants is more water! It is my worst time as a mom. Even though you are struggling with this, know that you do such a great job with her. I think you are a super mom! Best wishes to you :)
I just thought of something that might help. Try having a little stereo and playing the children's primary songs (turned down really low). That might help comfort her and help her fall asleep.
So I had this dream last night cuz I read your post haha it is a little creepy but it might help. If she is afraid to sleep in there alone why don't you just blow up a picture of your face and put it on a doll of hers. Then tell her that you will be with her all ngiht long. I know that is kinda creepy that I dreamed about you and your face on a doll but I don't know just another thought? Or maybe just a get a picture of you and Clayton and find a soft case to put it in then tell her that same thing. Maybe it will help. But if its just cuz she if scared of the dark well have you tried leaving the light in the hall way on? I don't know I am now so scared to have children I don't know what I am going to do?!!
SO you have already had a load of advice but I think the best is to never let them sleep in your bed. When Sammy wakes up I just say its okay honey, lets go back to bed. And I walk him back to his bed. I will leave his door open a crack too and tell him we are right down the hall! All kids have those nightmares I swear. But She will learn to sooth herself and it will be so much better! STAY STRONG! It will be so hard to deal with when you have another baby come! two crying kids! CRAZY CRAZY! And believe me I have caved a few times!
A few suggestions from wise old me :)
- if she is afraid of being alone, a picture of you and Clayton next to her bed might help. Be sure NOT to close her door - keep it open at least a crack.
- go pick out a new toy doll for her to sleep with, on the condition that she sleep with the doll without mommy or daddy.
- I used to give Zack a drink of "magic potion" before bed (crystal light - just a sip or two) that would help him be brave/sleep/whatever.
- If she is afraid of MONSTERS or something like that, you might get a can of Lysol or something and make a cover for it that says "MONSTER SPRAY" or something similar. Spray it all around the room to protect her before bed.
- picture of Jesus might help. (although Dylan used to be afraid of his pic of Jesus! I hated that he was scared of it!)
My two cents! Good luck!
Hey Lex! I don't have kids but I do have a great memory from my childhood and I was one of those kids that had bad dreams and was scared of the dark! Haha still have scary dreams that wake me up sometimes. I have never been able to watch scary movies cause I'm a wuss. Anyway I would sleep with a book of mormon under my pillow and I thought it wouldn't let bad dreams come. I believe that is because my mom told me that it wouldn't let bad dreams in and I believed it! Also dimmer lights... I know you may not have that option. But everything seems less scary when it's light. Try leaving the light on and if she will go to sleep with it on it would be worth it to just turn it off after she is asleep. Cute blog by the way and good luck! She is the cutest little girl!
Oh, Lex, my eyes are watering. I love you all!
Grandma Lydia
Lex Grandpa and I took a vote and we go for the bed on the floor in your room.Leave the light on and move her when she goes to sleep. Deanna says Hunter sleeps by their bed every night. Every time you go some where and she has to sleep with you you would have to go through the crying process. Not worth it. Just love her and she will grow up soon enough. We love you all so much GrMa Jill
Oh Man! This issue make me just want to scream! When we switched to a toddler bed Nate started going in there and laying by her so she would stay in bed and now she expects it. It doesn't work for me because I end up falling asleep before she does and then I sleep on the hard floor half the night. Just today I tried to get her to take a nap. Guess who fell asleep for 2 1/2 hours? ME and eventually her. So I guess we've heard it from everyone...let them cry.
Ok i know i'm going to be in the serious minority here, but please don't just "let her cry it out". The absolute most important thing we can do for our kids is to let them know that they are safe, and loved. Obviously setting a good bedtime routine (story, brush teeth, prayers, etc...) is really good advice, but i don't think it's a good idea to let her feel scared and abandoned. You might end up staying by her until she falls asleep for awhile, but you can always gradually back things off (go from laying next to her, to sitting by her bed, to sitting in a chair in the room, and let her be comfortable that way) A lot of the other ideas are really good too, pictures of you, or of Jesus, or take her to the store to get a special "bedtime friend" stuffed animal that she can have to protect her at night. Soft music is a great idea, baby einstien videos (the music ones) are good before bed too. But i'm sorry i just think that letting her cry is too sad. Besides, she is still so little. it's not like she is going to still want to have you sleep by her when she is in high school.
Lex,
THANKS for loving that I am pregnant! :) Everytime you say I just giggle a little! Did you guys like Twilight?
Well it took grandma coming over to tell me your blog address for me to comment on your blog. Mercedes used to do that to and she finally started to fall asleep easy but we used to say a prayer that she would not have any bad dreams and that she would not be scared, then I would lay by her for a little bit and then go to my room. If she woke up I would go and lay by her but I would not let her in my bed that was a no no or I would let her lay on my floor. good luck I love your blog it is so cute.
That makes me want to cry! I'm sorry that is tough. With my little bro we got him a little tv with dvd's that he could watch while he went to sleep. It took his mind off being alone and in the dark. At first he would watch the entire movie but after a little while he would fall asleep during the previews. Good luck!
Lex-
You were born in good ole' Milford? My in-laws are Jerry and Cathy Jimenez. When I first met Cody's extended family, his uncle knew your grandpa- Puffer. I think they worked together way back when. His uncle's name is Richard Albrecht. What a small world.
So you need to update! I need to see whats going on in the cutler life. I love all the comments.. haha fun times raising kids dont you think. Emilie misses anna so much she like talks to her well she talks to the air like anna is there. wierd, yah. I think she keeps thinking she is going to see anna. Sad that she never got to. Hopfully over christmas, Anyways, Finals this week, I bet your excited. k see ya
We have this exact problem with Jaxon. We have to stay there until he falls asleep and then in the middle of the night he comes and sleeps on the floor in our room. I try to let him cry it out (it's sooo hard) and my husband always caves! I don't know what to do. We have tried moving out gradually, closer to the door and eventually you're supposed to be able to leave totally, but that isn't working. And it has been weeks! I sit by the door and when I try to leave, he starts to cry. So, I read all these comments and it seems letting them cry it out is the most suggested advise. Have you tried it?
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